Loss.

 It’s been awhile since I got on here. It’s become somewhat of a cemetery of my old thoughts. My last post was about me hinting at the fact I thought I found a guy who was great and took my chances and went for it. He ended up breaking me into pieces, destroying my trust and shredding my self esteem. 

Tonight I’m lying in bed again, with the same broken heart and swollen eyes that I had when I was previously with my ex coz fuckmylife yknow.

I got engaged about 10 months ago and I really believe that I found my soulmate. The problem is I’m starting to realise his soulmate might be someone else. 

We got into a fight over her 3 nights ago and I shifted out of our place back to my dad’s. The loss he feels regarding her is something I’ve tried to understand and be patient with but I failed to. 

He says it’s nothing romantic between them. It’s purely friendship. But the fact that when we first started out he had already been talking about her ghosting him, telling me he missed her and how important she is to him, I think I’ve just been in denial about it as well. 

It’s been 3 years of her ghosting him while he continues to send updates of his life to her constantly. He even told her about our engagement and she gave a lacklustre response to which he told me he was over it coz she doesn’t respect our relationship. Me being the fking idiot that I am was so happy coz it seemed like I was finally important to him. But I’m here at 2am typing this while crying so you probably can figure out that all he said meant nothing. He still reaches out to her and I’m tired of trying to understand it or be patient about it coz I just cannot support my fiance being so hopelessly hung up for another person’s acknowledgement of him.

Sure he might not love her the way he loves me, but I think I need to be fair to myself and allow myself to be part in wanting to be a priority to my partner. 

I want to feel like I’m the most important and that I have nothing to be threatened about. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have to constantly fear her coming back into his life coz he will want to hang out with her alone, I’ll be able to see how much they have in common, how much fun he’ll have with her and because I’m so insecure he will eventually have to choose between her and I (this scenario is based on all his words, not mine). 

I want to be cherished without being lashed out at coz she ghosted him. I can’t compete with a ghost. He tried to equate it to losing a family member using my brother as a comparison and got pissed when I said it’s not the same thing, saying it’s me not understanding him and choosing not to even try to get where he is coming from. He then asked me when I’ll get over my mum which was a fking low which he still hasn’t apologised for because my mum was abusive emotionally and physically and basically tormented me when I was growing up. 

It still hurts so bad, seeing how he looked me dead in the eyes and asked me so matter-of-factly ‘In that case, when will you get over your mum?’ But he is now focused on that fact he is hurt that I dont want to put in effort into understanding how he feels, the loss and sadness he feels over her. 

I really tried to but I can’t. I can feel your patience waning with me. I still remember how angry you were, calling me fucking insecure, saying I screen every female friend you have. Even when you’re recording a an artiste I get jealous. You base all my insecurities on my past trauma with my mum, with my ex and you never stop to consider if this insecurity is also induced by your lack of boundaries, your previous actions and your dismissive and angry demeanour when I try to tell you I am feeling insecure or lesser because of how you treat other people. 

As someone who has accepted that you need to be close to your exes and you are a free spirit you will do whatever you want, you won’t change for anyone, I actually think I have been patient and really dealing with my own security so you can live your life as you please because I convinced myself your feelings are more important. I think the problem is you think you’ve been super considerate to my feelings and you’ve done nothing but been accepting and supportive of me. well so have I. But at this point, I don’t even know what relationship is left for us to fix. It’sa bit beyond the point of no return for me. I just need to type this out into this cemetery to at least put it out into the universe how hurt I am. How sad I am. And just pray the universe helps me. Help me. I love you so much but I don’t think tis is healthy anymore. What I do know is, if this does end, you’ll be pining after her while I pine after you. I’m so fucking fucking stupid I wish I could die. 

PSA: If y'all need some loving I'm coming home

Good morning Singapore!!!

Omg it's been so long since I've blogged I literally forgot what was the standard font I used to write in. I apologise to those who actually bother reading my blog. I have come to accept that I am actually a pretty busy person so I AM VERY SORRY. I also prefer real life interaction as compared to you just reading my life off a screen coz you gotta admit, if you don't know me in real life you're basically just reading my 3am thoughts of a screen. As much as I'm flattered that you bothered, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TALK TO ME I'M REALLY NICE. 

Anywho, there's is just so much to update on my life to be honest. For once, I have no summary for what the blogpost is gonna be on because I'm literally struggling to fall asleep and recently I was reminded of this blog's existence. Can I just say I'm realising how fully narcissistic the huge banner I have of my face is and I regret hard HAHAHA. But it's a pretty cutesie photo of me so I'm just gonna leave it there for a bit, at least till I'm free to play around with the html of this thing. 

But I guess the whole focus of this blogpost would be just a random PSA to announce that:

I AM COMING HOME!!!

Oh what do you know, I guess there is a point to this blogpost after all HAHAHAH. But yeah, for those who have missed my presence please know that June is the month you have me physically there in your life again. Please do know that even tho I wasn't physically around for a bit I am still readily available through texts and social media for y'all to contact me so really it should feel as if I've never left. 

If you do feel like you need me to physically be there coz texting is not your thing, I'm here for you in June :) heh. 

So yes, please do contact me if you wanna hang. I'll probably be trying to meet up with everyone I freaking know in the world because I am a super needy and overly attached person. I'm not sure if you know this, but as my friend you're sort of stuck with me for life. I don't care if we just used to go to the same school together and barely spoke, or if I just met you through another friend and we are on a hi and bye basis, in Sammy's world there is really no such thing as acquaintances, you are my friend. You gotta deal with it, sorry. HAHAH. 

But yeah I wanna know all about you. What's been going on in your life, the highs, the lows, heartbreaks or new loves, losses and gains, new mad skillz you picked up, what you realised you are bad at literally E V E R Y T H I N G. Honestly, just catch up with me man. I'm all ears, I probably miss you more than you know. If I don't that's coz I don't know you yet and we can defo change that :) so yeah, lemme know if you wanna hang. My social media stuff are all on the right so, go crazy you. I will definitely be back by mid June so just text me and I will put you into my calendar :) xoxo.

I'm also intending to travel a little during this break tbh so please book me so I know when not to fly away. I think right now to me it's all about the experience and living life a little before life becomes focused on working on my career and building a family and all that kinda real real adult stuff. As a pseudo adult I can assure you that adulting so far has not been the most fun. Uni is hard tbh. Life is basically tough but Sammy deals. As of now I have intentions to venture into diving since I've always been obsessed with water and marine life anyway, so Imma talk to the daddy and see if he's for it. Lord please lemme interact with fishes in the near future -fingers crossed-.

I'm apparently supposed to try out skydiving as well but that's a huge ?????????? for me still. But I might just YOLO and go for it since it's a once in a life time experience... I might die, but it might work out considering how hard uni is actually HAHAH. I'm kidding don't worry. I'm also intending to travel with my besties coz we are overly attached and I love them much. I think I should brace daddy that I might have to be a burden again. #oopsie

Haha I have some other updates on hand, but I don't think now is the right time to announce anything so bear with me. I'll honestly put in a bit more effort into updating this blog. I suck, I know. Thank you for still reading the shit I put up anyway, if you made it this far down the post please lemme know so I can give you a virtual hug or a candy bar irl if that's your preferred choice for poison. I love you much. Thank you for giving a shit. 

PLEASE DO ASK ME OUT OKAY. 

Please help me out with keeping our friendship/relationship alive. Because I can honestly sense how busy I can be in my efforts to meet up with every person I care about; which is basically everyone in my life, so if you don't bother to really set plans with me you probably will not get to see me. Then you'll have to wait till Christmas or next Easter depending on when I'm back again in Singapore. Why would you do that to us tho? I should be staying in Singapore till early September so you have 3 months of your schedule to play around with heh. 

I think I should head to bed now it's going to 4am here in Newcastle. But here's a little gif on what I've learnt these few weeks coz it has been a real stressful but crazy exciting time for Sammy. I think this photoset just makes sense to me. Will post updates on that part of my life when I'm ready and if there is more to update I promise. 

I love you so very much if you made it to the end of this post. Really hope to hear from you, -hugs- if you're looking for real time updates please feel free to add me up on snapchat yeah? @sammycharlotte. You are super awesome and very loved <3

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

I'm sorry I am not made out to be an influencer, here are some updates tho

HI EVERYONEEEE.

I am so sorry, obviously if I were to be paid to do my Youtube videos and my blogposts, I would starve to death. But if people were to really pay me to post stuff I would be more than interested of course feel free to hit me up and we can talk about it. 

I am actually a very inappropriate person so if you want to really know my deepest thoughts and desires, you gotta work for it mate. HAHAH.

So quick overview of what this blogpost is gonna be about: 

1) AN OVERVIEW OF HOW UNI HAS BEEN

2) I ACTUALLY STARTED MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL WORK ON IT WHEN IM BACK

3) HOW I NEED TO START LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF A BIT MORE TO LOVE OTHERS AROUND ME BETTER

4) TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2016

So the last time I blogged I mentioned that I was headed to Uni, and uni has been a pretty odd and unsettling albeit fruitful experience so far. Can I just take this opportunity to highlight to those who are looking to go overseas for your further education that it is not all unicorns, rainbows and DEFINITELY NO PROMISE OF THE SUN. 

It's not that different from Poly tbh, but yeah, if you're headed to foreign land be prepared for accents that will take some getting used to and also the fact that assignment briefs can be the most confusing time. Also, be prepared to read A LOT because the seminars are crazy interactive and you may be singled out to give your thoughts on the readings. 

I've been settling in quite well with my classes I would say, but the assignments really stress me out because they are definitely not as detailed as what I'm used to back home in Singapore and it really makes me doubt myself on whether I even did an assignment right.

So at this point I would really like to ask you guys to pray for me, or just send me positive vibes if that's not your kinda thing. I would really appreciate it a million because I really need it. Like I really want to make my dad fking proud so I really need to do well in school. 

But overall I met a few awesome peeps from around the world who make class worth going for and I'm eternally thankful for them. I feel like I'm always the most excited person to be in class even though I whine about the morning lessons, because there are some really awesome people who make the class good. :) you guys are so lovely please don't change. 

I really want to make it a point to get to know more people from wherever so please please drop me a msg if you're in Newcastle or just in the same timezone and looking for a friend :). Please take note I am not DTF or looking for anything specifically in that area, sooooooo please don't drop me texts that will make me uncomfy thank you xoxo. 

Moving onto my Youtube channel... Hehhhhhh I did start it, but I never followed through, here I would like to sincerely apologise to whatever fans I have (lol) mostly GABBY, XAV and DEBBY I'm so sorry guys I know you guys looking forward to my videos, but my time has been spent on school and trying waaaaay too hard for the people around me. 

No more, I promise I will set aside time to put in a bit more effort to do up the channel <3. Please bear with me guys, I'll definitely work a bit harder on producing a bit of content at least for you three. I love you guys, thank you for being the few who believe I have any star quality at all. You guys are so precious to me, I don't say it enough. But yeah, just be a little patient with me, I'm reworking all my priorities right now for the year and one of my priorities is gonna be me for once. 

The rest of you feel free to tell me what kinda content y'all wanna see on the channel k, other than the occasional covers I want it to be a platform for me to voice my thoughts on certain topics. So, would be interesting to tackle some of the stuff y'all toss in my way :). (SEX IS ALWAYS FUN TO TALK ABOUT BTW, SO, LIKE FEEL FREE TO PITCH THINGS MY WAY) -WINKWINK-

Okay so, this is a huge part of why I wanted to blog tonight. Been feeling a little emotional these few days thinking of going back to Newcastle, because I just feel so loved here in Singapore and life has been tough in Newcastle for some reason. 

I have this habit of putting others' needs before me and I have difficulty raising up times when I am unhappy or hurt. So it's really no one's fault when I'm down in Newcastle and I feel so alone tbh. 

But yeah, I've just been borderline depressed in NCL for a long time now because I just feel so unlike me. I'm constantly thinking I'm not good enough in NCL and I think it's because I feel so useless unable to really be there for the ones I love back in SG and feeling like I'm not good enough for those in NCL. I basically reduced myself into a ball of insecurities and I'm a damn wreck that needs to get it together. 

So yes, I learnt after my short time back in SG that I need to start thinking of myself before I can really be there for others as well. 

A wise friend told me: Sometimes your saying 'no' is good for others, you need to start seeing it this way because you tend to put others before yourself. 

You know who you are and you know I love you because you fking get me and put it into words. :) <3 thank you. 

This week back home really helped me gain perspective of what I was doing wrong in NCL and I'm going back a happier and stronger person both emotionally and physically I feel. So, yall brace yourself for a different Sammy. I'll focus a bit more on myself so that I can love y'all better and more selflessly. #scoutshonouryall 

So no more pining for validation and putting others waaaaay waaaaaaaaay before myself. I'm gonna love myself a bit more. :) So if I'm a bit selfish this year, I think it's warranted because I haven't been all for Sammy for awhile, if you cannot deal with it, maybe you need to start thinking for me a bit too. I don't know, just something to think about hahah. 

But yeah, here are some of the awesome people who made my life bearable in NCL, this is not all of them, but these people really helped a whole lot, if y'all ever do see this, please know I love yall. 

Bunny boo <3 aka burden barnes HAHAHA

Texas Princess Alaina <3

Jack <3

Gracine baby <3

Sigh until today I do not get why they took squat goals so literally.

That's Charlotte on the far right. <3

Rude Ryan at the back.

And them burdens on rotation crew. HAHAH.

Okay so the last and most EXCITINGGGGG PARTTTTT. I'm gonna be going around in 2016, heh. 

• Headed to Japan for Chinese New Year in Feb (what is school?)
• Going down to Birmingham to catch ATL and GC in Feb as well 
• Might be spending my Valentine's in London this one isn't confirmed yet, so if anyone would like to be my Valentine, please let me know -winkwink-
• Should be traveling in March with Gracine around UK 
• Glasgow(?) still thinking on this one, because it will mostly be a whiskey trip HAHAHA
• There may be plans to head to Amsterdam in March as well to catch up with Seb and Steph
• BORACAY WITH MY #HOTSTUFF CREW IN JUNE WHAT UP THIS ONE, I REALLY CANNOT WAIT, AHAHAHA. 

So yeah, that's the first half of the year traveling plans uh, if any of you would like to jump in on any do let me know, all but the last one should be open invites HAHAH. So yeah, if you've made it this far in the post please know I love you so much for even bothering to read this and keeping up with me. I love you so much and you are so precious to me. -hugs- I'll just throw in a couple of photos for your visual entertainment. HAHAH, I'm so full of shit. This is featuring those who really made me feel so loved in the short time I have been back. <3 Y'all mean so much to me I will see y'all in June my loves.

My awesome Tiger Ng.

I'm gonna miss my grandma so fking much when I go back to NCL it is unreal I am damn needy, but this woman is my rock. <3

My hotstuff crew. Never change yall. 

MY BOOS, I LOOK SO HAPPY HERE LOOKIE HAHA.

Amanda and Lourdy <3 some things never change bebs.

Melmel. heh. Girlfriends4lyfe.

Once again please feel free to contact me via any of my social media channels. I have snapchat too! @sammycharlotte :) so feel free to hit me up any time. I reserve the right to ignore anyone who creeps me out tho. Please remember that you are loved and never alone. -hugs- I promise to try and update this deadass blog as much as possible k I'm so sorry again. HAHAH.

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

It's been cray: Uni shenanigans and other stuff

HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! /waves excitedly/

It has been forever since I last blogged. I know. I suck at this commitment thing to blogging. People who constantly blog everyday/every week, you are amazing. keep up the good work. ANYWHO, quick update on my life:

1) I AM GOING TO UNIVERSITY. I HAVE A FUTURE. PRAISE THE LORD.

2) I AM GETTING A NEW MACBOOK. PRAISE THE LORD.

3) I AM REALLY GOING TO START MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. SOON. I PROMISE. 

4) MY BRACES ARE GONE. HEH

SAMMY IS GOING TO UNIVERSITY. YAYYYYY. I had such a hard time making university decisions to be honest, and I think I was really damn annoying during that time. The first decision I had to make was whether or not I should even go to university. 

Those who do not know, I am graduating with a diploma in Mass Communication from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. My diploma is really the best communication diploma ever. I feel such a deep sense of pride telling people about my diploma programme because it is so well-rounded. I feel like I am definitely ready to go out into the industry and start working full time due to all that I've learnt (yes, the school trains us THAT well). 

I had to decide whether or not I wanted to pursue a degree in the first place. I spoke to my dad about it and he voted for me to go ahead and pursue a degree. So onwards a degree I went. 

The following decisions I had to make were which university and course. Local universities' GPA cut off points are ridiculous. Most of the courses require you to get above 3.7, which is equivalent to mostly As and B+s for your 28 to 34 modules and maybe one or two Bs, I think getting ONE C+ is the max number of C+s you can get. It is crazy intense. 

Obviously I am not a 3.7 (not that I didn't try my best to be) but I still did relatively well. I'm not really overly upset over the fact I cannot get into most of the local universities though. 

There was no course I was dying to get into and I felt like the communication courses local unis have to offer will not be able to give me a whole lot more than what I have already learnt. Why waste another 4 years learning things I know? 

It was then the time to explore the more exciting (and pricey) option of overseas education. I went to USA last year and I absolutely LOVED THE PLACE. Sigh, I miss America so much. 

Getting back on point, I really really wanted to go to USA to study, because I am still so in love with the people there and how laid-back they are there. My crazy love for USA died a little the moment I started looking up tuition prices and the fact I have to take the SATs (boo). So bye bye USA, we will meet again. 

I then looked up UK and AUS universities. AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITIES ARE INSANELY EXPENSIVE TOO. Eventually I explored the UK option and I am so damn glad I did. I went for roadshows to meet representatives from various universities and since I love what I'm already doing, I decided to stick with communication as the course to pursue. 

Thank God I have great people around me. Sam Barnes who already applied to UK unis was a whole lot of help, from advising the best universities to go for comms as well as to take note of universities in the Russell Group. So I owe her a whole lot for the advice during this process (Love you bunny). 

I ended up getting accepted by both Newcastle University and The University of Warwick for their comms courses. /DANCES AROUND IN JOY/

I would love to go to Warwick, but they can only accept me for their first year while Newcastle accepted me for entrance straight into the second year, Warwick's tuition fees were also a lot higher than Newcastle's (plus Bunny is already in Newcastle), so I chose to accept Newcastle's offer. 

To add to all this excitement, GRACINE IS GOING TO NEWCASTLE WITH ME. Hehehe, her parents trust her with me and I think we both help keep each other grounded. So thank God. Two of my best girlfriends going to the same university with me, not much more I can complain about. 

I'M GOING TO NEWCASTLE TO STUDY BABY. WHAT UP. LIFE IS REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW. 

If you are from Newcastle/the UK and somehow reading this post, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME, my social media links are on the left. I really want to get to know you and to hopefully meet you in UK when I get there. 

I will definitely update everyone in SG on when I'm leaving for UK. It will probably be during during the period of 20-23 Sept. I will be back home for Christmas so y'all can still buy presents for me. HAHA. But yeah, UK is definitely happening. I am in the process of booking my accommodations, it is a crazy exciting time.

I am going to get a new macbook pro for Uni, just a matter of getting it here or in UK. Probably gonna get the Macbook Pro retina or just the Macbook Pro. SO EXCITED HEHEH. I am a very expensive investment I hope my father will not live to regret and one that will hopefully reap loads of rewards.

I know this is not the first time I've mentioned my Youtube channel but I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE it will happen. By the time I get to UK or by the first week I'm there, the channel is gonna be up (I hope). 

I was thinking of having the channel as a vlogging channel or just a show for me to whine and tell everyone back home how much I miss them (and chicken rice). If you have anything you wanna see on my yet-to-be-set-in-motion-because-I-am-a-busy-bitch Youtube show, please comment or contact me to let me know. I live to please -winks-. 

Oh, I should set up a Youtube channel to put my covers up too... Hmm.. Well, I will decide on all of these when I actually have the time to do my Youtube Channel up proper. Please bear with me.

Lastly, I finally completed my orthodontic journey (for now). After almost three years I have finally got my braces off. Yippee. I have also gotten new glasses. I'm really trying to be one of those people who go out of the house in glasses and believe I look good in them. I really am trying. 

If you have made it through the whole post up to this point, thank you so much for giving me your time. I love you so much. You are a lovely person and I appreciate you -BIGHUGS-. Please feel free to contact me on my social media. I reserve to right to ignore people who weird me out. Here are some selfies of me without braces and with my new glasses hehe.

NO MORE BRACE FACE.

I know I know, the glasses are huge, but I like them and they make my face smaller. So bite me. HAHA

Crazy love my dad for pushing me towards my dreams and for his unending love and support in every decision I make. So thankful. Really just want to make him proud. 

Will definitely upload picts of my angels Sam and Gracine soon. Hehe. Thank you God for great people in my life. Please if you ever need someone to remind you that you are worth loving and not alone, talk to me. Goodnight you beautiful soul.

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

My life is a joke #1

HELLO EVERYBODYYYY!

It's already November!!! PRAISE DA LORD, just one more month and 25 days to Christmas WHOOOOHOOOOO. I need to start planning for gifts, or whether I should even buy gifts for people. MEHHHH. 

Anywho, I had a pretty eventful Friday, did not really get to celebrate Halloween because I felt all Halloween-ed out after all the horror movies and media previews to the Halloween events that last night I could not even bring myself to get all pumped to go out and party. Boooooooooooo. 

Friday started off with me forgetting to bring my office pass. This resulted in me having to stand at the door waving at my colleagues to get them to open the door for me. Insanely dumb. Omg. The reason why I forgot to bring my pass was really because I saw it dropping out of my bag the night before and I thought to myself, 

"I'll definitely see it tomorrow and put it back in my bag."

We all know THAT never happened. So there was that. Then later that day, Nat was singing the Old Macdonald song and our version went like this:

Nat: OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM EEYAEEYAOH

Me: AND ON HIS FARM HE HAD A FARM EEYAEEYAOH

Both of us: WITH A....(realises I sang something wrong)

Me: Did I just say 'on his farm he had a farm'?  

Nat: I don't know I couldn't even hear what you said. 

Me: What sound does a farm even make?!?!?

I then proceeded to laugh about it and kept giggling about it the whole day. HAHHAA. Towards the end of the day Nat was telling me about this buyer who kept trying to reduce the price of this item she was selling on carousell and I showed her carouhell.tumblr.com. 

If you have not visited this blog before YOU NEED TO. Some of the posts are so damn funny. 

Here are my top two favourite ones: 

Photo credits: http://carouhell.tumblr.com/image/100900962710

Photo credits: http://carouhell.tumblr.com/image/100655898643

I cannot even begin to describe how hard I laughed just reading these two. THE BRA ONE. SERIOUSLY I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. 

Where is your bra?

Why do you not have a bra on you?

How does one just forgets her bra?!??!!??!

How do you even know the bra fits you?

WHAT YOU DOING GIRL?!?!?!!?????????

Omg, I died. HAHAHA, check out Carouhell, it's really quite epic. Just PLEASE DONT EMOTION. HAHAHAHAH.

After the long day I met up with Mel at Fish Soup, and after ordering my food I realised that I LEFT MY FREAKING WALLET AT THE OFFICE. Because I usually bring out this Tote bag I have in the office for lunch and my wallet was in there. LEGIT EPIC FAIL. OMG. And because I left my pass at home, I couldn't go back to the office to take it. OHGAWDWHY. I was ready to kill myself there and then. I think I went full retard and you NEVER go full retard. 

It's even funnier because when I was coming back from lunch I was singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and the security guard auntie was like "Girl, so happy today ah?" and I went "BECAUSE IT'S FRIDAAYYYYYY". Meaning, my happiness was derived from the fact I did not have to go back to the office the next day, but NOOOOO I had to leave my wallet in the office. UGH. 

Was supposed to go back today to get it, but I was so busy today. I think I can last the weekend without my wallet. HAHAHA. 

Hope you lovelies are having a better weekend than I do, if anything, you guys have your wallets with you. Thank you for taking the time to read this till the end, you are a lovely person and I appreciate you -BIGHUGS- feel free to contact me on my social media k? 

Here's a picture of my beautiful bestie who paid for everything because I no wallet. HAHAH. love you MelMel <3.

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

Blue and used

Disclaimer: This is not going to be a funny post. 

I'm in a really shit mood right now to be honest. 

One because one of my bestest friends is going through something really shit right now and two because I'm feeling really used and taken advantaged off.

Firstly, people need to start being more responsible of their actions. People tend to forget that what they do to hurt themselves will eventually affect the people who genuinely care about them. 

My motto in life is to never get so caught up in my own pain that I undermine someone else's pain. I cannot allow myself to be that way. Savior complex or not, loving others has always been the one thing that has been keeping me sane. 

So it really breaks my heart when I see someone I love suffering for faults that are not even theirs to begin with and taking on responsibilities that are way too much to handle. 

If you are going through something like this right now, please always remember that:

1) You are loved

2) You will get through it

3) Blaming yourself will NOT help the situation at all

4) Feeling sorry for yourself will make you feel more shit than you already do

(this one's for you bby, I know you don't wanna call and talk, please don't despair, I love you and I promise I won't force you to go with me to spooktacular if you don't wanna)

Okay there's that and there is the fact that I am really really not that dumb. I can tell when someone is using me and you are really not being very subtle to be honest. 

If you're not gonna put in effort in even being a decent friend, we are never gonna advance beyond that. 

I don't mind helping you out, but seriously I'm starting to feel like you only text me when you need something or contacts. 

So, stop yourself. 

If you just need someone to help you with your work just be frank and say you wanna hang out because I have contacts, do not go all romantic and flirty with me because that's just rude and a bit saddening.  

I think it's BS when someone says he wants to get to know me but ends up never really asking about me. 

So check yourself or check out of my life. There's a difference between being nice and a pushover and Sammy is definitely not afraid to call it out as it is.  

PHOTO CREDITS: FEELLNG.COM

Okay rage post done. I would apologise for all the anger and sadness in this post, but I am going to keep things real on this blog so other than the funny epic fails be ready for the emotional rage stuff from time to time as well. 

Once again if you're reading this and have any thoughts you wanna convey to me, just leave a comment or contact me across my social media platforms. Gonna include my email in the information box. 

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

Internship (epic fail) Adventures #1

HAPPY FRIDAY YOU LOVELY PEOPLE OUT THERE :)

If you guys didn't know Sammy is currently on internship and my workplace is at Clarke Quay! :) So naturally everyday is a hunt for affordable and good food. I am so broke nowadays it's getting a bit sad. HAHA. 

Today the 4 of us (the temp staff AKA Grace, Denise, Nat and myself) went to Liang Court for lunch! I usually am the one who just follows and eats whatever. We had pretty damn good Udon today, the stock used was just so yum. 

So how the Udon place works is that you order whichever Udon you want, then you can move on to the toppings section before proceeding to pay. The toppings section was basically all the tempura stuff, which means FRIED EVERYTHING. 

So Denise and Grace was already done with their orders and stuff so it was just Nat and I left raiding the toppings section. So being the simpletons we are, we just followed whatever the label said and took whatever we wanted. Nat got sweet potato and like fried shrimp while I got the shitake mushrooms (I'm a sucker for mushrooms, acquired taste yo). TURNS OUT WE BOTH TOOK THE WRONG TOPPINGS.  

Yeah, there's my beef udon and what I thought was my shitake mushrooms (-.-)

OKAY BEFORE YOU JUDGE, please know that when Nat grabbed her "sweet potatoes" they were round, so I thought, 

"Maybe this store very cool, prepares their tempura differently, like they cut her sweet potatoes that way so maybe they put all my shitake mushrooms together and fried it altogether, HOW COOL." 

Yeah, turns out they do not label their toppings correctly, so what Nat thought was sweet potatoes turned out to be shitake mushrooms and what I thought was shitake mushroom turned out to be some fishcake thing. HAHAHAHA. 

Nat and I just died laughing when Denise told us that the labels were wrong. so yes. That's my fail for today. After lunching we walked around the supermart just freaking out about everything.

Meet my new boyfriend :) A CUDDLE IN A CUP HHEHE

Then Sammy got ice creammmmm, the really good Japanese milk flavored one.

It's no wonder why I'm so chubby >< IT'S OKAY. BOYS LIKE A LITTLE MORE BOOTY TO HOLD AT NIGHTTTT.

Aaaaaaaaand NEW BOOKS. HEHEH

Really psyched to check out Kathy Reichs because I LOVE BONES

TGIF my loves, thank you for taking the time to read this blogpost, you're amazing. Do talk to me whenever okay, I'm contactable across most social media platforms! HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY YOU AWESOME PERSON. HERE'S A HUG. -BIGHUGS- 

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥