So many things have changed.

So sick and tired of the many things changing in my life. The many people who used to be a big part of a life who are just not there anymore. Maybe the problem lies with me. How I am sick of people's bullshit. Or maybe I am just tired of constantly being taken for granted. It is really tiring. To have to deal with people who can carry on with their lives, pretend everything is okay and still push the blame to you for the fall of the friendship. Well done. I guess maybe I am too sensitive. In a sense that I actually get really hurt whenever I find out I'm lied to. I get really upset when I find out that despite being thee for people, when things get better they're gone. Like, it just makes me feel so used. I used to be able to take it. Just be content with being able to help them when they needed me. But I am just so sick and tired of doing so. Them constantly hurting me, being so self-involved just broke me. They broke the compassionate side of me I guess. I can't completely blame them. I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't caring enough and I wasn't good enough. Maybe I demanded a little too much for them to care about me a little. Like, really find out how I am doing. Not come to me and say 'Hey how are you?' and then carry on about themselves. If it is about real family problems I can understand. I will never get upset about someone complaining to me about the shit they deal with at home. Because I know how that feels like, to be hurt by your own family is just wrong. I never really got the full privilege of familial love, thank God for my dad. But if you're just gonna talk to me whine about how you are not getting the person you have a crush on, how you are upset about having to fulfill your responsibilities and just being obsessed about problems that you refuse to let go, please know I am not the person to turn to. I just cannot handle it or be nice to you because I feel that you just want attention, not real concern. I will not be the kind of superficial person who will pretend to care when I really don't. What's the point? I'm sorry I just like to keep it real. I know I may seem like a mega mean bitch right now. Maybe I am. I guess I am just tired of being people's second choice. Like being a substitute when the friends they want are never around. I'm not asking for people to like really worship me and like see me as a huge awesome person just because I was there for them.I just ask to be appreciated. It would be nice if people actually came to me and just be there. Not asking for anything, just a friend in return. That would be lovely. Maybe things seem to have changed because I changed. Maybe it is really my fault for not trying hard enough. I just don't feel good enough to be there for anyone. I'm sorry if I have hurt you in anyway by ignoring you. I just don't feel good enough to be there for anyone, I'm emotionally unstable, apparently I am not spiritually ready either and I have just been hurt too many times by people who I really cared for. I am scared to care actually, maybe even scared to love. Maybe things haven't changed, I changed. Not like anyone is gonna read this anyway. But if you feel the same way, here's to let you know you're not alone.

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

BOREDDDD

HELLOOOOOOO :)
Havent blogged for awhile! How y"all doing :D hahah. School has been really crazy :( Tired Sammy is tireddd. :( Haven't been sleeping well the past 2 weeks :( wehhhh. So much pressure to perform better. My tolerance level has been really reallyyyy lowww. Sigh. So yeahhh. Last IJ lesson today :)! Next week is gonna be my last S&W lessonnnn~ Then the assignment deadlines and exams will come and drown me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  :'( Ah wells. I'm tired. Gonna like wait for them to finish up. I swear I haven't been slacking. I actually did a lot today. I just have a really bad headache right now :( okayyy~ BYEEEE


xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥ 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! :D

OHMYGOSH. HAHAHAHHA I ALMOST SPELT HAPPY AS HABBY. HAHAHAHAH RETARDEDDD. Anyways, IT'S MY DADDY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY :D hehe I bought him a bottle of red wine. HAHA. Adriel took a cab down to meet me, because I am underaged so he has to buy the red wine for me. HAHA. BUT I PAID OKAY. HAHA. So yeah, after that daddy came to fetch us, we tried really hard to hide the cake, but apparently he saw it when he was fetching us. SHITTTTT. HAHAH, :) but yeah, it was fun. My dad was being bitchy ruining the whole birthday fun. When I switched off the fan he was like, 'Eh why don't on the fan, weather not hot meh?' HAHAHAH. After that we had the cake cutting ceremony :D. HAHA. I almost spelt cake as cat. I love my daddy :) hee. He has always been there for me, supporting me, and just loving me in his own silent way. He may not be the really talkative kind, but he is the really dependable and loving kind :). I love him a lot. He is my motivation to really do well in my studies coz I wanna be able to look after him when he grows older like how he looked after me. Okay, I'm getting really emotional. CHANGE TOPICCCC.


I got back my writcomm test results today :D. I was really dreading the return of this paper coz it was really out-of-the-world kinda hard :(. WEH. But yeah :) I did a lot better than I expected to do. I expected to fail. Really badly. HAHA. But I didn't :D I got 32/40! WHOOOOOTS. WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO. SO HAPPYYYYYYY. HAHA. I am really not a mugger btw. HAHA, I am just a very lucky girl with a pretty good memory :) so yup, I AM NOT A MUGGER. 


Today was like a roller coaster, day started off kinda bad but went up,up  AND AWAYYYYY~. Roller coaster is the wrong kind of metaphor to use isn't it ._. ... It was like a hot air ballooooon.... Not really.... AH YOU GET MY DRIFT. HAHA. Oh Adriel managed to score pretty good boyfriend points today with my daddy :) coz he paid for the cake and all. HAHA. :) YAY. Okay, I'm gonna go now. 

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥


P.S THATS ADRIELLLL :D HEHEHE. the girl behind is my cousin. HAHAHA. She's enjoying life seating on the massage seat and eating crackers. HAHAH. BYE.

ONE HOUR TO SPARE :D

Hi guys, I'm back. HAHAH. I AM REALLY BOREDDDD. I swear I'm just gonna keep spamming this blog in my free time, because I have that many things to talk about and I have so many things in my BIG BIG BRAIN :D HEHE Medsoc is fun :) I am really gonna miss medsoc next sem :( Im gonna miss Miss Tess loads. She's so niceeee :D <3 hahaha! And she looks like a teenager I swear, like the first time she walked into class I thought she was one of our classmates. HAHAH. Stupid. So, yeah we learnt about newspapers today, it's really not as boring as it sounds. HAHAH. :) Like we learnt about how newspapers is gonna be extinct soon and like it's gonna be a closed business soon :( that sucks. Not like I read newspapers but it's just sad that another one of our traditional stuff are gonna be goneeee :(. Sigh, first the dinosaurs, then the big cool telephones, the big televisions, the cheap food and now NEWSPAPERS ARE GONNA BE GONE. WHATTHEHELL. :( Really upset about it. Meh, hate that things are just VANISHING. FADING AWAY INTO THIN AIR :(. Boo.

Oh, the girl behind me kept kicking my chair -.- whatthehell and it's like she doesn't even apologize. So mean :(. I get really upset when people walk into lecture late then like not pay attention at all. Like firstly you're disrupting the lecture, and secondly its not like if you come in late your attendance will get marked, if you're not interested just don't come at all. Go do something you enjoy doing rather than come disrupt someone's lesson. Pfft. Ass. Last week, this group of people came in late and like kept making so much noise during lesson. ROARRRRRR. Okay, enough ranting. HAHA. :) I swear Deedee makes lectures quite fun :) Poor girl is sick :( Like, she has a sore throat. There is a flu going around I swear. I don;t feel really well either and like Adriel is sick too :( Janine and Siti are sick too. Gosh, EVERYONE'S FALLING SICK. THE WORLD IS ENDING. IT'S A SIGN. HAHA. I have issues. Oh gosh I am really tired. Still have writcomm lecture coming up. No idea what we're gonna do today. HAHA. Ahh wells :) Gonna go now. Denise says I have blogger syndrome. I agree with her. Every moment I just wanna BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG. HAHA :) Well at least I know at least one person reads it :) Hee, I love him like crazy <3.


xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

P.S HAHAHAH GRACINE AND MIMI ARE SINGING KOREAN SONGS. HAHHAHA WHAAAAT. Oh, thats Deedee on the right :D <3

I love school :)

Haha! HELLO GUYSSSS :D random post before Medsoc lecture :). Yeahhhh, I'm gonna faille my webgra test :(, gosh, it was so so sooooo baddddd :(. Like 2 hours 15 mins to do both photoshop and dreamweaver was crazy :( boo. Ah wells, at least it is over now :) Haha, went for lunch with Denise, Gracine and Gabrielle :) <3 we went to the Ngee Ann Alumni Clubhouse and I had time to go buy a new notebook :D, really took lots of notes this year. HAHAH :). I love them I swear, they are freaking awesome and retarded at the same time :D <3. Ashraf joined us after awhile. :) Gabby treated us all to drinks and it was awesome :D. I LOVE HONEY LEMONNNNN. HAHAH. Oh, one point we actually started talking about how we can have a whole potluck session :) HAHA, Gabby was like "I can make sushi!" and I was like "I can make potato chips, but yeah, don't be surprised if they taste like Lays coz I am THAT GOOD" HAHAHAH. Then after that we hanged around for awhile and left. HAHA, the girls went to the toilet to like camwhore for awhile :), Gracine and Denise were damn epic, like both of them were like looking at the phone while Gabby and I were like looking in the mirror, BECAUSE THATS THE RIGHT WAY TO CAMWHORE. HAHAH. Oh, they were really funny during lunch too, haha apparently they mistook each other's order and ended up taking the other's order until they realized which one was fish. HAHA. I love them. I swear. HAHA. 


Oh, they were talking about Wicked, really upset I didn't get to catch the musical when it was in Singapore, but apparently they changed the musical. Ah wells, hahah there's a book, I SHALL READ THE BOOK :D... I will TRY TO READ THE BOOK. hahahh! :) Okay, I think I'm gonna go off now, since genius me didn't bring my laptop charger and I have 2 lectures coming up back-to-back. HAHA :) BYEEEEEE 

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥


P.S the one on the extreme right is Gracine and the one beside me is Denise :D 
Gracine suggested we act like bimbos since this is NOT A BIMBO's blog. HAHAHHAHA OKAY. BYE

I can't do Yoga anymore :(

Haha, hey guys, today I had a very sad epiphany :(, I can't do Yoga anymore :'( wehhhhhh. Haha, I was trying to do it in Adriel's house today, his mum was really impressed :D so yeah, NOT THAT BAD. HAHAH. Yeah, after IJ I didn't really do much, rushed to Adriel's to put down my bag and went to the polyclinic to look for him. Waited for him to see the doctor before I left to buy lunch for him :). Haha, I looked damn auntie carrying all the different kinda food to and fro. HAHA. But yeah :) we spent most of the day sleeping coz his medicine caused drowsiness and I slept for like 5 hours last night. :) 


Went with his brother and mother to Ikea around 9 plus, HAHA, I love Ikea :) <3 what an awesome place with COOL BEDS! Oh, I kinda forgot about my webgra test tomorrow. I am soooo screwed. Haha, I did make notes for tomorrow! Just that I don't know what kinda notes to make anymore D; since I already made notes for everything and like, it's kinda pointless re-writing everything now is it? :( so yeah, I didn't really do much for tomorrow's test, just tried out what he taught us on friday :). Just realized that it's not very fair that we have our test tomorrow since our lesson was pushed to friday and like, THERE ARE ONLY 3 DAYS BETWEEN FRIDAY AND TUESDAY. OHMYGOSH. NOT FUNNY. So yeah, I am kinda freaking out, but not completely freaking out. I am more or less freaking out over the fact I am not freaking out and there's nothing to freak out over. OHMYGOSH THIS BLOGPOST IS MAKING ME FREAK OUT. I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AND I'M TOO DAMN CALM. MOST PROBABLY DIE TOMORROW. JUST HYPERVENTILATE IN THE MORNING AND DIE. Oh yeah I lost my earphones :( really upset about that. WEHHHHH :'( I NEED NEW EARPHONES. I need music :( boo. Okay, back to Ikea, they now have a freaking cool way to dispense their ice-cream! :D haha, they have a machine and like you pay at the counter, they give you some magical token, you put your cone on the holder, put your token in, press the dispensing button once and YOU HAVE ICE CREAM :D AWESOMEEE. 


It's late, I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm kinda freaked out, so yeah, the inner-non-existant-bimbo in me might me emerging. I need to sleeeeep. Haha, good night world :) 


xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

P.S HAHAHAH, I LOVE YAKULT, IT'S AWESOME. I THINK I AM HIGH. I LOVE ALL OF YOU :D BE SURE TO COME FOR MY FUNERAL WHEN I HYPERVENTILATE AND DIE TOMORROW. HAHAHAHA. I HAVE ISSUES. I AM NORMAL. I SWEAR. HAHA BYE! :)

Random post in class!

Haha, hi guysss! I'm in IJ now and I'm writing a blog post! :D Watch out we got a bad ass over here! Haha! Yeah the one on the right is grace :) She's awesome! Even though she skipped S&W today and left me alone to fend for myself :'(. But yeah, S&W was really fun :) Even though we had to really run a lot today :(. Haha, defenders are really the runners during the game, its so hard to look behind you :'(. I am like really tired. But still! :) thanks to my awesome S&W classmates it was really fun! :) Haha, because Grace left me alone for S&W I was all alone waiting for IJ to start :(, for those who don't know IJ stands for Idea Jumpstart, it's like a module in Ngee Ann that encourages us to be creative, haha. It's not really that bad :) but yeah, I would prefer to not come for it since I'm all tired and sweaty from netball :(. Haha. :) So, while waiting for IJ to start I headed to the Ngee Ann library which is FREAKING BIG btw. I kinda got lost in there and I was trying to choose books that were reliable, so yeah, I spent more time in there than I expected to spend, and ended up being late instead of early for IJ ;x ooopsie. Haha, with Grace now :) we're like the only ones doing work in our group -.-. Pfft. It's okay! :D we are both awesome people who can HANDLE IT! Yeah! GIRL POWERRRR! Okay, I'm slightly high HAHA. 


Gonna head over to Puffy's coz he is sick :( wehhhh. Shall buy porridge, bean curd and juice for him :) <3 her. I'll post another post tonight if I can! :D OH GOSH, DREAMWEAVER TEST TOMORROW. NOT FUNNYYYY. DIE DIE DIE DIE.


xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥


P.S Haha, I masked my face last night and freaked out when I saw my reflection on my laptop screen thinking it was a ghost. HAHAHAHAH FREAKING LOSER! Haha, byeeee! :)